Who wouldn’t want to have a stripper as a girlfriend? All those curves, all those moves…and all that skill with “poles.” Which is fine if that’s all you’re after, but again, we’re lookin’ for love in this guide. But if you do any of that, your relationship will never progress beyond sex.

Moreover, the simplest of these “strategies” would be to just pay the girl for a romp in the VIP room most of them will be happy to take you up on the offer for the right price. The strategies you would use to get a dancer into bed for a night are in an entirely separate category. Let me start with the obvious: this is about dating strippers, not hooking up with them. Right here, I’m going to teach you how to date a stripper using a few powerful and quintessentially simple techniques, and I’m going to impart to you a “secret weapon” maneuver that makes the entire pursuit far easier and boosts success rates through the roof. Well, my brother, it’s certainly true that successfully dating strippers is a very different battle to fight from scoring a girl at the library, but it most definitely can be done, and it’s not sublimely difficult when you know how to go about it. You have enough trouble getting regular women, you tell yourself, and strippers are an order of magnitude harder to land. Today we’re going to be discussing the holy grail of heterosexual masculinity, the unobtanium of our gender, and the very stuff of which wet dreams are made: dating strippers! If you’re anything like I once was, this is a mere unicorn to you, a fantasy that is beautiful to believe in but could never exist in reality.

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